Sunday, 17 April 2016

'Thin' - Lauren Greenfield (2006) - Film Review

Thin – Lauren Greenfield (2006)
Review by Katie Findlay

At first encounter, Thin, the 2006 documentary by Lauren Greenfield, seems aptly titled. ‘Thin’ is the word that leaves the lips of the women the film follows most frequently; it is what they are, it is what they aspire to be, and it is the mantra that directs their lives. However, the crux of Greenfield’s project, shot in the Renfrew Treatment Centre in Florida, is not the struggle of four young women against their eating disorders, but rather the incapability of the American healthcare system to treat their complex illnesses. By the end of the documentary one realises her title is misleading, but it is succinct, memorable and sums up these women’s lives in a word.

“Her capillary refill is good” observes a nurse, “but her nail beds are more blue”. The patient seems only half alive, referred to in the third person despite her presence. We see the women emerge as shadowy corpses from their bedrooms, shuffling down sterile corridors to rooms where they are weighed and their vital signs checked. Greenfield’s choice of audio clips from the nurses are powerful, especially when placed alongside long shots of the women waiting, bleary-eyed, for their medical screenings in the metallic interior of the surgery. We feel that the centre, where they have come to seek treatment for diseases that are taking their lives, is removing the last few scraps of their humanity. In this clinical world the women have no voice, they put up no struggle; they seem truly unwell.

Although Greenfield includes all the classic images of stark spines and angular elbows, it is the meal-time scenes that are hardest to watch. We see, at eye level, the painstaking reluctance with which the women place morsels of food into their mouths. What they are eating is as clinical and unappealing as their medical exams; Greenfield makes no effort to make the meals look appetizing. There is a saddening moment as Polly faces her birthday cake, seemingly in front of an audience, and hollowly ‘thanks’ the chef for his handiwork. The scene cuts quickly away to her crying on the shoulder of a friend, heartily regretting what she’d had to eat. Although Greenfield’s depiction of the birthday is probably not the true sequence of events, we are left with the nagging feeling that Renfrew is doing little to change these women’s difficult relationships with food. If anything, it’s making them worse.
In contrast to their medical exams and regimented meals, the pastoral care offered by the centre appears unprofessional and disorganised. ‘Bekah Bardwell, Evening Councillor’ we are informed on-screen as a woman hands out cigarettes. ‘Family therapy with Shelley’s mother’ appears whilst the voice of Shelley’s mother emanates from a phone; the object in-shot acting as a glaring symbol of her absence from the session. We receive little information about the care the women receive, and what we do is sporadic and uninformative. The audience is left to fill in the gaps themselves, giving the impression that there is no useful, linear care programme in place at the centre. If this was her message, Greenfield presents it well.

The question goes unanswered when Shelley asks the same therapist “So why should I tell you?”, highlighting another subtext that Greenfield develops: the complete lack of trust between the patients and staff. Whilst we speak to the women one-on-one, getting to know them personally, Greenfield does not create this same dialogue with the care team. All we know is that they are there, and they are not to be trusted. What’s more, they openly discuss the patients in group meetings. Although presumably this is a part of the women’s care programme, the choice of sequences does not present the staff in a favourable light. “I don’t trust [Shelley] as far as I could throw her’ – a common colloquialism becomes a bout of petty unprofessionalism when quoted with little context.

Alongside their clinical treatment, struggles with food and uncaring staff, Greenfield includes documentary on the relationships between the women. Shots of friendships, fun, and schoolgirl-like rebellion present a much needed escape from the emotionally-charged silences of counselling sessions. “I used to have a personality” Shelley says quietly to her therapist. “I don’t have any friends” Alisa confesses; statements which prove wildly untrue when the women are seen turning somersaults onto Polly’s bed or smoking contraband cigarettes against a bathroom fan. Learning how to build relationships seems to be the best therapy these women are getting, portrayed by Greenfield like breaks of sunshine in the otherwise dreary atmosphere of the centre.

Greenfield’s choice to follow Polly’s story is evidently directed by her interest in the women’s inter-personal relationships. She is portrayed as the most spunky, most rebellious of the group, although it is her personality that eventually causes her to be evicted from the centre. There is a harrowing scene as the team and Polly speak to her mother by phone, telling her that Polly is to be discharged. As her mother begs the councillors to re-consider, Polly breaks down like a child. “I’m so sorry mom”, she sobs. Meanwhile the staff look on, unmoved.

This is a recurrent theme in Greenfield’s choice of subjects – being discharged from the centre before they are ready. Polly for her rule-breaking, and Alisa, Shelley and the young teen Brittany because their insurance refuses to pay. We are left with little hope that these women are going to get better, as they have not really been cured. This is confirmed when Greenfield includes documentary taken after Alisa’s discharge; she picks over a salad in front of her children, then purges the meal behind their backs at home. The follow-up text at the end of the documentary accompanied by the same haunting music heard at the beginning presents a bleak image; all of the women continue to struggle with their eating disorders. Nothing has changed during their, and our, time at Renfrew.

Overall, Greenfield has created a harrowing documentary of the struggle of four women against their eating disorders, and against a healthcare system that provides very little in the way of support. Her short cuts and uneven camerawork give the documentary an authentic, honest feel, adding power to her message. She re-humanises the patients by recording their friendships and rebellions, restoring their personalities and highlighting the everyday battles that the Renfrew Centre, and the American Healthcare system in general, seems to care so little about.


Sunday, 6 March 2016

The day I went for a run before breakfast

Today I went for a run. 

Today I went for a run before breakfast.

I think this is something I've achieved 3 times in my life and not a thing I can guarantee to repeat, as usually the prospect of eating a meal is the only way I can persuade myself to get out of bed. However it has put me in a good mood, and also in the mood for getting round to doing things that I've been putting off. It took me almost an hour to work myself up to leaving the house this morning and it's taken me more than a year to actually write a blog post, despite the fact that in theory both running and writing are things I enjoy doing. I'm not sure why I often can't find the motivation to do things that I like doing; it's like even opening my laptop or putting on my running shoes is this massive wall that I can't get over. I guess it's going to have to be put down to that worn-out old excuse called P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N.

I hate this word. I HATE THIS WORD. I wish it didn't exist. If it didn't exist, it wouldn't be a thing. In my mind, by having a word for procrastination, it becomes justified, excusable. Oh it's okay, I'm just procrastinating. I'll do the work / run / blogging later. It's something everyone does. It's normal. That's why there's a word for it. 

And so I am stopping using it. And simultaneously I am stopping using procrastination as an excuse for putting things off. Imagine all the things I could do if I stopped putting things off? That dark cloud of obligations that hangs over my head would just dissipate and I could live an in-the-moment life like all those instagrammers with pale-toned photographs and adverts for expensive tea. 

To minimise wasted time and up life productivity I have taken some measures:

  • This semester I've taken three 8am classes. Difficult? Yes. Repulsive? Maybe. Do I have ragrets? No. It means I get up, go to class, say little of relevance for two hours, have a coffee and get to the library for 10am. TEN AY EM. This is a good time to be in the library. On a day without an 8am I'm rarely doing anything productive before midday, let alone have made it into university and be onto coffee number 2 before I eat my lunch.
  • I don't have many clothes, and I've bought new clothes. It it is by no means caspulewardrobegoals, but living effectively out of a suitcase is very refreshing. I wear near enough the same thing every day; same jacket, same scarf, same few pairs of shoes... it means I waste a lot less time faffing about what to wear and hardly ever have those days when I walk around looking at the floor because I'm self-conscious about what I'm wearing. In addition, when I buy clothes they tend to be a. plainer and b. more neutral. Because hey, I live in Paris. (See future blog posts on 'trying to be French' and 'trying to be cool').
  • I'm wearing less makeup. (See future blog post on 'trying to look like I'm not trying to be French and cool').
  • Not being afraid of spending money. Not like, crazy amounts, but what is money for if not for spending? And if I spend it now, it will probably end up being less total expenditure than if I spent it later. Eg. train tickets; I am no stranger to last-minute high prices and serious ragrets. 
  • Making plans, saying yes, doing things. This is the most influential thing I've learned from my study abroad. Just do it. Just like, do it. Or, just don't do it. But either way make a decision and accept the consequences, because the fact is that one person can't do everything, so mostly say yes, but also be okay with saying no. 


Let's be realistic, entirely stopping wasting time is not something I am going to succeed at, nor am I going to stop using the word 'procrastination' or take up early-morning running. I will continue to put things off, and I will continue to have those empty flatline days between peaks of activity. You know those days when you just lie in bed and wait for the end so you can make a better start tomorrow? I had one yesterday. But this is something I've learned; everybody wastes time, and everybody, to some extent, disappoints themselves. But the important thing to remember is that not every day is this way, and there is always a tomorrow to do better than you did today. So go to bed, forgive yourself for the things you haven't done, get up early and do them. Maybe even before breakfast.  


Disclaimers:
I don't want this post to sound preachy, but I mean well yeah it does sound preachy. Please be aware that I'm writing this to myself as much as to anyone else. 
I'm also sorry that I've started my blog off on a soul-searching foot, I promise there's more mundane posts about #travel #studyabroad and #erasmus to come. But I wanted to vent. I am clearly still feeling saintly because I went for a run before breakfast. I'll go and get on with some of the things I've been putting off to bring myself back down to earth.